My girlfriend: Treat me like a princess :)
Me, tears in my eyes, hauling the guillotine out of storage: I’m sorry, honey, but for the good of my comrades and country, a monarchy cannot stand
savage
“hey officer, would you like to buy some marijuana”
the wildest thing happened to me the other day i found out a male coworker is into irish music so i told him that my dad is an irish musician and would he like to come to a session and he straight up irl said to me “name 5 irish songs your dad knows”
he asked me if i play and i told him i played the fiddle when i was a teenager but havent played in years and he was like “oh cool. i play drums” as in a drum kit you know the famously folkish instrument the drum kit. bitch my name is molly o'reilly you really wanna challenge the legitimacy of my irish music involvement
i can name 5 songs with my name in them
ok
I fucking hate all of you
All fucking that, for that…..
im crying
FFS
